Tuesday, November 30, 2004
The Pact
I honestly thought that I had blogged about this over the summer when I was telling you about the books that I was reading and the movies that I was watching. But, alas, upon further inspection of my archives (see the right column on this page), there is no mention of this fabulous book.
A couple of years ago I happened to be watching one of the morning news magazines (probably CBS), and saw an interview with three young African-American men who had made a "pact" as high school students to support each other through pre-med and medical school. The three of them grew up in inner-city "projects" in New Jersey. Each of the three is now a medical doctor (one is a dentist). They have written a book called The Pact, which I read this summer. Although it may never win literary awards (they're doctors, not authors), it is a wonderful story of how Relationships can get you through some really very tough spots in life. It also reminds me of how really _bad_ it can be for some people out there.
I have decided to read this book to the students in my homeroom on our reading day (on Tuesdays every week). Our homeroom period is 22 minutes long, so there's plenty of time to do good reading with them. Today, as I was reading, something that "Sam" wrote really jumped out at me. He said, "It seemed easier to me to give up my ambitions than to have to face the disappointment of not fulfilling them." I think that this is key in working with a poor demographic, or with disadvantaged students. Most of what they see around them presents a VERY compelling argument that failure is imminent. So ... it's easier to NOT try to succeed because the disappointment would be overwhelming. It's frustrating to me, who was raised in an environment where success was common and worth striving for. I can't imagine spending years and years growing up watching the only true success happen with people who are breaking the law or breaking up families (etc.) SIGH..... What can be done to encourage people in this situation?
I ought to stop typing now, before I really launch out on a soapbox (I've done that already this month ... don't need to put you through it again!) Please, if you have a chance, pick up a copy of "The Pact" ... you'll be glad that you read it!
Friday, November 26, 2004
Ahhhh, Blogging...
So ... I am in NY (kinda like Kate!!) ... but I'm in the REAL part of New York (not to be confused with Canada (or with Canadia, as one of our students pronounces it!)) I'm in BUFFALO, NY. I drove up (all day) on Wednesday, and tried to blog that evening about the drive. But, alas, I couldn't get through to blogger. I thought that maybe it was my mother's dial up connection. (C'mon, Mom ... get into the 21st Century!!) But, no ... today I got through with no difficulty at all!!
Anyway, I spent all day Wednesday driving. It was raining, but the traffic wasn't too bad (I left Northern VA at about 4:15 a.m.) Spent the driving time listening to Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum novel #5 ("High Five") and talking on the cell phone (which is a great way to pass the driving time. Kate (& Pat and Casey) even called me from the New Jersey Turnpike at about 8:20 a.m. so that they could pass their driving time, too. I also stopped for a couple of hours at my brother's house in Elmira (about 2-1/2 hours from Mom's) to visit with he and his wife and their three sons (a 2 year old and twin 6 month olds). Such fun!! :-)
I will interrupt myself with a short quiz for you: who do you think forgot to bring a coat to Buffalo? Yup ... Lou Ann. DUH!!!
Thursday was spent with what's left of the Buffalo based Aepelbacher clan (most of the Aepelbachers have moved to warmer climates ... as I have done). There were 11 of us (a FAR cry from the 40 or more that we used to always have). We had a nice time ... called the Florida Aepelbachers on the cell phones, ate lots of yummy food, and basically caught up with each other (and listened to my cousin Sandy talk about her pet pot-bellied pig.)
Today, Mom and I drove to Elmira for a luncheon and the twins' baptism. My sister-in-law's family is so wonderful, and we had a lovely day. The baptism was done in a private ceremony ... which allowed all of the little kids to run around (there are 7 grandchildren in the Graumann family) and for the babies to cry all they wanted without parental embarrassment and it allowed for the priest to do a much longer ceremony (about a half hour) than he would have been able to do if the twins had been baptized during a regular mass. I served as a godparent (or, more accurately a "witness", as I'm not catholic) to the younger twin, Will.
While Mom and I drove to Elmira and then back again, we listened to "Skipping Christmas" by John Grisham. If you haven't read it (or listened to it), it's a wonderful short story. And, I look forward to seeing the movie version (called "Christmas with the Kranks") that is out this season.
That's it ... I will start tomorrow with a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up the staple items that cannot be purchased anywhere but Buffalo (Weber's mustard, sponge candy, etc.) I will then have breakfast out with Mom (the second time in two days) ... as we both love having breakfast out, but rarely get the opportunity to do so. Then it's off to spend the remainder of the day driving through central New York state and Pennsylvania, across the Mason-Dixon Line and the rest of the gruelling drive on south through Maryland and into VA.
In closing ... on Thursday morning, when I called the friends in Northern VA with whom I usually spend Thanksgiving, I mentioned that it was snowing here in Buffalo. The response was a loud, "Well, DUH!!" :-)
Will blog more next week.... (Possibly with online pictures of the nephews to share!)
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Back to Enetation Comments!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!!
Finally, I have switched BACK to enetation comments!!! Finally!! Thanks to enetation's "showcode" feature and to Pat's Rants' source page, even a computer half-wit like me can switch comment formats!! :-) Feel free to comment to your heart's content (and bring your friends!!) And leave smilies!! :-D
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
The Shaw Festival
I spent this past weekend in Buffalo (where I grew up). And, no ... it did NOT snow while I was there. It snowed the week before ... and it snowed the day after. But the weather was absolutely lovely while I was in town. So there. :-)
Anyway ... while I was in Buffalo, a friend and I drove into Ontario (a very short drive from Buffalo). (And, for those of you who confuse upstate and/or Western New York with Canada, they are NOT one and the same!!) Anyway ... we drove into Southern Ontario, up and along the Niagara River (way past the Falls) toward Toronto to a small town on Lake Ontario called "Niagara-on-the-Lake". Yes, that's the name of the town. Niagara-on-the-Lake. It's a gorgeous, quaint little town that has lots of wonderful shops, beautiful homes, hotels, bed&breakfasts, and ....
.... The Shaw Festival. The Shaw Festival is not really a "festival", but several theaters in the town that all run plays from the time of George Bernard Shaw to the present. Many of the plays that they do are George Bernard Shaw's. On Saturday evening, we saw Pygmalion ... the Shaw play upon which the movie "My Fair Lady" is based.
I was surprised at how similar the play was to the movie. I was expecting the original to be radically different from the screen play. They were so much alike that I had to keep reminding myself why Eliza didn't look like Audrey Hepburn. It was a wonderful play!!!
So ... the next time you're in Southern Ontario (or in Buffalo or Western New York for that matter), you'll need to check out Niagara-on-the-Lake and The Shaw Festival.
Monday, November 01, 2004
The foster care system....
Okay ... I typically don't state many serious opinions here in my blog (okay ... I'm seriously annoyed with the blogger comments ... but you know what I mean!) But, sit back ... because here I go!!
Now, to set up where this is coming from, I need to tell you that I truly enjoy the television program on WB called 7th Heaven. It's just a cute little show about a cute little family. Often, it's pure fluff. But sometimes they attempt some serious story lines, like they did tonight.
Tonight, 7th Heaven tackled the grossly under-emphasized problem of the foster care system in this country. This is an issue that has bothered me for many years. Now, let me start by saying that I KNOW that there are many, many quality families in this country providing fabulous foster care to children and teens who are in need. In fact, I know several of those families.
But (here comes the soapbox), I have some points for you to ponder. Did you know that in most places across the U.S., there is an age at which a foster child no longer qualifies for services? Usually 18 or 21 years old. Now, that sounds about right ... right? Have you ever stopped to consider what these kids do after they "age out"? Do they have family to support them emotionally and financially through job training or college? Do they have any connection to anyone who can help them find direction for their lives? Many don't. In fact, many end up homeless. I have heard stories about foster children who "age out", and upon blowing out the candles on their 18th birthday cake, they are walked to the door of the foster home where a suitcase is waiting for them. No destination ... but no where to go back to, either. Maybe that's a bit extreme ... but it makes sense. If the remuneration for the parents ends, the foster care will probably end, too. (Side note: how will these kids EVER understand unconditional love??)
Another point to consider. Let's say that you've got a teen who is in foster care and who is a hard worker and conscientious and ethical and motivated, as was the case with the character on 7th Heaven this evening. Let's say that when this child "ages out" of foster care, he or she manages to get a partial scholarship to college, works as many hours at a part time job as possible while attending classes, and so on. There is absolutely NO support for that young adult in this world. None. If the job is cut or cost of living on/off campus increases, he or she is sunk. And I ask you to compare to another foster child who, upon "aging out", either gets pregnant or gets hooked on drugs or gets in trouble with the law or any of a number of potential big problems. There are PLENTY of government and private programs to help him or her. Plenty. It's almost as if the child who IS conscientious and motivated is being punished for those qualities. It's almost as if the second hypothetical young person is being rewarded for their lack of life skills. How sad!!
I won't even get into the racial inequities, the problems with custudy to biological parents vs. bonding with foster families, instances of abuse, etc., etc. I'm sure that I could type ALL night!!
As an infant, I was fortunate enough to be adopted by a wonderful family at the age of 3 days old. But ... if, for some reason, I had lasted "in the system" for more than a few months or a year or so, I would quickly have become categorized as "unadoptable", and possibly bounced from foster home to foster home. I am truly grateful for my situation, and can't understand how our society can not assure all children of the same advantage as they begin this life.
Some related websites, in case you're interested in reading more:
The Orphan Foundation of America
A Social Work article on Foster care to homeless
A story of a local homeless person
An article from an Atlanta newspaper
